Today, in my makeup-less, wild hair state, I realized that I am a bit boring. Granted, our house is cold, which necessitates being wrapped up in layers of blankets most of the day.
To illustrate this, I’m going to walk you through a day in the life of me.
Prepare to be underwhelmed.
7:20 AM – The alarm goes off because I have this crazy idea that I should get up earlier and get stuff done before work. But as usual, I hit the snooze.
7:25 AM – Snooze.
7:30 AM – The whining begins as I try to analyze if I am sick and must stay home. Except for being tired, I feel fine.
7:35 AM – I stumble out of the bedroom towards the shower, eyes open the minimum amount required for seeing. Ryan, my insufferable morning person, hugs me and tries to kiss me awake. I lean against him and start to doze off and drool a little on his shirt.
“You’re so cute when you are grumpy,” he laughs, directing me to the shower.
I glare at him and go to wake up in the shower. As I begin to wake, I realize I didn’t plan a meal for dinner last night.
7:50 AM – Teeth chattering, I shiver while trying to decide what to wear. My dress pants look a little wrinkly so I throw them and a sweater into the dryer to “touch up.” I try to wrangle my hair into submission, pluck those nasty chin hairs, and cover up the dark eye circles with makeup.
8:25 AM – I get dressed and realize I wore this sweater last Wednesday. I debate changing but end up not caring because the one I am wearing is still dryer-warm.
8:30 AM – I run around the house looking for a pair of matching socks and my glasses. I get distracted talking to Ryan.
8:38 AM – I check the clock and freak out because I haven’t made my lunch and swear that tonight, I will make it before I go to bed. I slather peanut butter and jam on my wheat bread, pack a token fruit or veggie, and some addictive snack food while Ryan alternates between laughing at me, checking me out, and doing his homework.
8:48 AM – I rush out the door, only to realize that I forgot my water bottle, kiss Ryan, and run to my car. It is covered in frost so I use my elbow to clear enough space to see, crank up the defrost, and take off.
8:55 AM – I get stuck behind someone determined to go 5 under. I pass them and try to manuever through the lanes while singing a song I made up or inwardly groaning and wishing for my warm bed.
9:00 AM – Made it to work with 30 seconds to spare. Score!
10:15 AM – My stomach growls, reminding me I forgot breakfast. I try to rationalize eating part of my lunch at my desk.
11:30 AM – My mind is filled with food, legal jargon, and sleep – in that order. I eat a granola bar for sustenance.
12:30 PM – I still have several things to do before I can take lunch. I remember that I need to finish a file for a 2 pm appointment and watch longingly as my co-worker leaves to take her lunch.
1:30 PM – I grab my lunch and coat and bolt out to enjoy my 45 minute lunch break….in my car. Hey, it is quiet, free from phone calls and clients, and I can recline the seat. What more do you want out of life? I turn on my phone since work has horrible reception to see if anyone called.
Nope. I’m just not that cool, I guess.
1:50 PM – Distracted by reading an interesting blog post and my amazing lack of depth perception result in water all down my front.
2:00 PM- Back to work.
3:00 PM- I try to control my frustration with an especially rude client.
3:01 PM- I am hungry again. What the heck? Do I need to pack 2 sandwiches? Am I becoming an over-sized hobbit and need second breakfast, elevensies, tea time, dinner, and a midnight snack (besides the normal 3 meals) to assuage my ravenous appetite?
These are the mysteries that plague me.
4:30 PM – I am less behind on work than normal. Perhaps, I will leave on time today.
4:45 PM – Never mind.
5:25 PM – So. Hungry. So. Tired. Brain. Hurts.
5:45 PM – Quitting Time!
5:50 PM – Road rage with a driver who cut me off and didn’t use their turning signal. Seriously, people, it’s not that hard!
6:05 PM – Home sweet home. I trek through the back yard in heels because my key doesn’t work on the front door. I collapse on the couch and read Facebook until I accidentally doze off.
7:15 PM – Ryan will be home soon and dinner isn’t started! I bolt off the couch and do a ten-second tidy of the kitchen. I decide to make Kraft Mac n’ Cheese Tuna Casserole. I realize the sauce pan is dirty so I wash it quickly and set to work. Ryan gets home later than planned so I attempt to keep my ghetto dinner warm.
8:00 PM – We eat our meager dinner while talking about our day, laughing, and flirting. Sometimes, we are both so tired we just stare off into space, lost in our own thoughts.
It is the best time of the day.
8:30 PM – I clear off the table while Ryan starts homework. I take my medicine and do a little “I took my medicine” song and dance to help me remember I took it.
Don’t judge; it totally helps my ADD mind remember.
8:45 PM – Blogging time. At least, I try to. Sometimes, I blank and end up staring at the ceiling or looking at pictures of LoL cats.
9:15 PM – I distract Ryan from homework.
9:30 PM – I watch a movie, do some reading, or accidentally fall asleep on the couch.
10:30 PM – I’m hungry again. Oreos with peanut butter anyone?
11:00 PM – Ryan tries to have theological discussion with me. I desperately try to stay awake because I enjoy our talks, but I can’t keep my eyes open.
11:30 PM – I stumble to the bathroom, brush my teeth while half asleep, and crash into bed…when I suddenly can’t fall asleep.
11:45 PM – Crap. I don’t know what I’m making for dinner tomorrow night. Maybe I should…. *cue snoring and open-mouthed breathing*
If you made it to the end of this awake, you get a prize.
What? You wanted more? I am not made of money; do you think money grows on trees! I’ll give you something to cry about, even if it comes down to brass tacks!
Oh dear. I sound like my mother. I am going to go now before this gets all weird and “The Twilight Zone” theme starts playing.